my.first.time.stories

Life now.

2008-07-07T03:31:00.000+08:00

How often do you dream about the future?. How often would you go about telling people out there what you want to be when you grow up. How would your dreams turn out to be like. How can you make it come true ultimately.

I........... have no ambition till now. Not that i want to think much about it. Right. How boring my life can be.

I've got no partner. I've never been to any social outings since the past 2 years. I've never done anything at all.

My life is simple. As simple as eat,sleep,repeat. Thats the whole cycle of my life. Like a sloth.

That explains the people around me. Maybe they are boring people too. Or they have no other options but to hang around with me. HAHA.

As for now, i'm serving your damn nation. It's not a waste of time. It's not about thinking 1001 ways to AWOL when you are in the academy. It's fun. Fun because my life is too boring and it seems that being in the academy is fun.

As an officer, it's funny how the public would treat you. They offer you cigarettes, have small chats with you, ask stupid questions like directions as though we look like a fuckin map.

But there is one lady who approached me and asked a question. She points out over the sea and asked, "Hey is that Malaysia?" . I said "yeah, infact thats pasir gudang you're looking at.". And then she cracked a smile with a raised eyebrow and asked " Ouh, so the malaysians can't swim over right?". I squint my eyes and i really don't know what to say to her. How about i kick your ass and you would swim in pain with the boot stucked in yer ass over to malaysia?. And see if you can swim over and not get caught eh?. Pity how cute she looked.

You kind of get the respect that you won't get. Regardless Nsmen or regulars out there. Some of them would smile,acknowledge you with a nod, or wave. The best part is where the small kids wave and smile and say "hello mr policeman". Well i tell you son, you won't be doing that in the next 10 years when you get screened by the officers. A whole new different perspective altogether when you grow up.

One thing bothers me. Are we that friendly?. Hrmmm.. I wouldn't be surprised to see insults or spits being thrown over to an officer in the next 10 years.

Lost your slippers?. Misplaced your comb?. Spouse snoring late at night ?. Call the Police... Thats how convenient you think it is for you.

As for now, I've been counting, and it seems that my age is a little big of a number. I don't want to grow old. I don't want to go home empty handed when we visit your houses during Raya/Deepavali/CNY. That will happen i know. But i don't want it to happen.

Money is everything. Heck who cares about sharing it . I'd gladly live in a castle with 40 different cars and bikes. I would share the love with machines or horses. They won't complain.

This is getting nowhere. But i guess it's pretty much simple. A blog post from a boring guy.

2007-07-19T21:44:00.001+08:00

It gets really frustrating to see your work or ideas get wasted just like that. And it gets seriously brain fucking when your ideas are stolen from a friend.

Nothing much to bitch about except for a name, just a name. It’s not just a name when you actually spent hours brainstorming and came up with nothing eventually. The word only popped up after days. Although I do not have any copyrights under any acts, but there was no mutual agreement to reincarnate the name and make it for commercial purposes.

I left for the good, for the better, for myself. We all left for good. Ever since the flat fat fucker vox came in. I hope your publicity will remain in silence. All demos to be ripped off till rock bottom till I get my hands on you.

One fine day you think your group sucks and then thought, hey, why not just use the previous? .well fuck you very much for the credits buddy.

2007-07-18T11:47:00.000+08:00

If you ever had a job in your life, no matter in FnB or just any other line, there will always be the domineering peers/colleagues who will just get on your bloody nerves.

Being bossy would be okay to deal with, just okay. But when it comes to bossiness and overly domineering plus ego and further adding words in your mouth, won’t you just snap?

I have tolerated bossy people especially women, far enough that it leads to bullying. Why women? Because they just can’t keep that mouth shut even for a minute. Another term for bossy would be a name for a cow or calf, which pretty much describes the latter.

Having a job, I realized how wicked this world is. No matter what, you would somehow have to survive on your own. In this competitive world, there is no such thing as friends, especially when money is concerned. If you have friends since childhood, treasure them. It’s not easy to build a better foundation with the others. If you have friends since high school, it’s better to still keep in touch. If you had just met someone and became friends, then work could get pretty much easier, and harder at the same time too.

Most of the overly domineering people that I’ve known so far, they just have to boss around for the sake of it, like the reverse psychology theory. Just like how the bully was once bullied, the bully was an innocent child until the day he/she got pushed over too many times and became a bully.

So if I were to work with a bossy bitch, I would consider using aggressive mental pushover. One example would be doing the total opposite of what the bossy bitch told you to do. If anything goes wrong, just say that you did as you were told, and don’t forget to mention the bossy bitch. This only works if it is done at the right time at the right place. You should know when to execute it.

Another would be pushing all the blame to the B.B (bossy bitch). This might only work if the B.B had been bossing you around and it comes to a point where the B.B would think that she really was in the wrong. This works for me perfectly. But it only comes in handy if you’re thinking for the long run.

I’ve never realized how fun work is after setting aside all the negative issues. If you are going to complain, and complain daily, your life will never change. Your complaints will just remain unanswered. You would definitely have to help yourself. Ignore the bad things in life and think about the good. If you were to appreciate and not just complain about stuff, things will go your way somehow. If you hate doing over-time for some reasons, you would curse the time and curse the job and curse everything in your way. But if you were to get your pay at the end of the day, isn’t it all worth the time and energy.

I’ve been enjoying life ever since then. It’s all about neglecting the negative.

2007-03-18T03:24:00.000+08:00

i am finally free from worries. i never really cared about another human being actually in my life, let alone myself. so i thought you would get sick of that metaphoric guy you are with (most prob because he looks like utter crap in my eyes) because you never fail to set your eyes on him.
as i was thinking back to myself, so what?. it's gonna end one day. forever means forever. you know, how forever means forever, like go on and on and on. HAH ! what are you some immortal?. reality check, he's gonna die. now this is where i laugh. haha.

do you know that you have been suffering for the past few weeks. you are just hoping that you are wrong. and when you set your eyes at his ever so perfectly dodged out mouth you know it's about time you kiss a unicorn instead. if that's impossible, try a horse.

now this is not so personal but i think it's worth bitching? hrmmm. how sad can it be. hrmmm. i guess it's nothing more than some wake up call.

we might not be virtually in touch nor in reality. but the dreams i had they're still alive, which pretty much gets me going. so it doesn't really mattter if you think whats right for you is that morphing dude because sooner or later, he shall vanish and you shall be punished.
alright then, put all the mean stuffs aside and now the good.

I assume that all this attention grabbing motive style would not be practical no more, as you can see, it is pointless. what i do suggest is that either one of us to step out of their barracks filled with iron gates to have the willingness to embrace of what's left behind.
i really do thank you for reading this if you are.
Love, Danial.

Reality check

2007-02-21T15:30:00.001+08:00

How would you feel about people talking about you, and they brag about it here in cyberspace. Netizens never failed to get much attention. Either in blogs, forums or virtually anywhere. There is really no such thing as good/bad publicity. As long as it goes public, it's good. Why? Because it is not always that people talk about you. You get attention, maybe fame and also reputation at least.
So the trend now would be emo. What is emo?. I dont know . What i heard is that hair covering half the face, slitting of wrists, poems about failed relationships, suicide and so much more of sadness within.
Do you idiots(netizens) believe that by despising these emo kids and posting bad profanities about them and slogans like "NO TO EMO" make them feel low? Look, they are already sad as they look and how much lower can they go?
GIVE THEM A BREAK. They would most probably be smiling away while slitting their wrist and also more would join the EMO 'culture' as a form of rebellion. Rebel because this is what the society hates. So thank you to all your dumb critics, there would be more of a growing population of Emo Kids.
Mats and Minahs, define mats and minahs. Really they are not as bad people as you think. Why don't you idiots(netizens) have the balls to despise gangsters instead?. Our local gangsters here are dumbfuck knuckle heads who only can operate in a big gang. I'd rather see Skinheads or Punks in the streets. Gangsters? Do you even own a gun? Assasinate anyone?.. Create the dumbest poem is all you do.
You see, different people have different views on certain things. You want to be different. You join some group. You dress like them.
You just want to be different. We don't really see men/women in their 50's dressed up as what you call mats and minahs(which you cannot really tell in the first place. and also i wonder how mats and minahs exist by the judgement from what they wear). Many are teenagers, and many teenage(inc.me) are still trying to find out about their identity. So you might be a goth yesterday and then the next you know you're breaking some moves on the floor. The point is , LET THEM BE.
If you don't like them, screw you, it's your problem and i swear there would be another group of people who hates you. For everything there would be haters. Not everybody loves God. Satanism. Love now has got a new meaning altogether. Gays and lesbians. Rebels. So what makes you think that you have the right to despise these group of people. It doesn't make you any stronger. Maybe ego. It is because you are typing behind your screen that makes you feel you have the POWER.
I have personally account that many of my friends tend to be 'outgoing' in MSN. but in reality, just some nerd.
I do not take sides, i am not trying to make a stand. What i feel is that it is time to let people live the way they are. Earth is dying and the end is near, live life to the fullest is all i can say.
~cheers mofo

Metal

2007-02-21T15:29:00.000+08:00

After watching the documentary Metal : A Headbangers Journey, i've realised that many have had the wrong judgement towards the metal culture. There are more negative approach to such as violence and drugs. But to me, i take it as a form of art.
I have always wondered why they would scream/gore/growl instead of singing the virtuoso way in black metal bands. Maybe they would want the listeners to read the lyrics as they listen and also to get the 'feel' out of it. Reason why is because you simply can't catch the words coming out so fast in that scream. So you tend to be curious and would search for lyrics and then you get into the song and you repeat it over and over and over again.
When i was young, i hate music. Sister turns on mtv, we'd fight and then i would just hate music videos, hate radio's and hate almost anything that is melodic. After sometime, when i went to this carnival, there were loud blasting metal music everywhere. Music everywhere. It was loud. My hair stood up and i feel like this is the new shit. So i started listening to the early Slipknot,Glassjaw, and Marilyn Manson the most when i was 12, before getting to sec school. And then,i evolved to someone else, turned out to be quite violent when i first discovered COF.
I then began digging deep into the culture and the more i know, the more violence i want. Extreme metal was what i was craving for, speed,death, anything that could make the adrenaline satisfy my desire of an ultra fast metal band.
As i grow up, i tend to realise that metal was not really the root of music. As i came to know more about blues, and the african american culture, the guitar would most probably be of an african instrument. Those classical masterpiece's from famous Beethoven and Mozart would be of great influence to metal as well. You would evolve as your age increase and of course your mindset would change for the better. As for me, i don't call myself a metalhead although i've been listening to it for more than 6 years now, as i have recently fell in love with 50cent. I fell for that .
As of having an identity, i dont think metalheads/metal lovers should wear studs nor leather, because many followers now are into these spikey things and they claim to be one themselves. Spare the embarassement, just be yourself.

`cheers mofo.

2007-01-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

her beautiful eyes, mesmerising words, delicate skin and seducing lips makes me grow weak each day. every now and then i'll be thinking of her. i'm typing this out like a death wish seeing that almost none will read this nor visit this site , maybe only once per month.
i've never thought of you in such a way that life seems so dull and black without your presence. the colour black such that you will drift into darkness the moment you happen to 'appear' in my thoughts. drift,flew,float, any words that describes nothing but only getting far away in need for a better life. just like how they migrate to a different country, instead you, into your own world. you can't guide my actions . i'm predictable.

every now and then, i think of you, i think of me. why? the selfnishness stilll exists even though i have been forgiven. or have i???

as you can see, im confused. to think that your acceptance might prove you wrong, or to think that it might just boost my ego up one level. i agree with myself, but i'd rather keep the result a secret. a secret that only time will tell you, how much i need your approval, for everything.
i keep myself safe and secured by occupying myself with things i've never really thought of doing. entertaining myself haven't been much easier. self-taught, i assume, would enrich your life to the fullest. against all odds, i've gone through the obstacles despite my 'disabilities'.

and i'm greatful to .... me myself and you...

..

2007-01-14T03:00:00.000+08:00

so it's been quite sometime. it's really flattering to see people still taggin (even though only a couple). but still, you idiots really have interest in this?

*laughs out loud. okay maybe not so loud.. but honestly. it's flattering.

although i dont really blog much about myself. i tend to put it in lyrical manner. or some piece of crap layout as some of you would like to call my masterpiece. heh. heh.
i really find it no point to have a blog. let alone this. it's .... pointless..
there is not much to read.. it really amazed me on how much a person's life can be so much interesting in their blog. It's like everyday is a good day. i've read some blogs, mostly about their routine stuffs. well of course there are many types of genres of blog, i wont mention any.
I wonder, how interesting can it be?

E.g
I woke up from bed, i wanted to pee. i went into a cave and then i saw a dragon. it breathes out fire, but before that, i peed into it's mouth. but halfway through . the dragon saw my wee wee. it opened up its wings and fluttered like a butterfly. Then i quickly opened up the door. i sat down like a girl. i dont give a shit because it's my house. just then, my father appeared in some hologram. he says 'look out son' . too late. a Vin Diesel appeared with a sword right before he can say 'may the force be with you' .. so i let go of my super-chemical-infused-pee all over his face. he went graaaaaaaaaa.... a flibbidy flabbidy floop !. and he's gone. i pulled up my pants. i saw a dead Vin Diesel, a dragons tail and then ... i heard my maid coming in.. She went ' oh danial get your pants on ' Then i turned my head 360 deg and thought that i was possesed. she went berserk and this could go on and on.

It really beats those dream works pictures on how they present about themselves. Cheers to universal studios.

Beat that.

So as i was saying, it's really flattering.
I'm such a loser . Can't you tell? even my imaginary friend starts going to the opposite block. I said hey, he say's 'shut up queer'

Do you wanna know a secret?

i hate blogging .. so screw you people...

2006-11-05T02:26:00.000+08:00

Wont you come along here
and teach me to survive?
I used to follow everything
single thing that came popping
In my head i know its true
when everything means you
Never me i never thought
we ever ever fought
before........

Then somebody came along and
teach me to survive.
I know then its the end of our line
It's okay you seemed to be so fine
With everything that you came across
I was not even a part of your loss
Wouldn't it be nice?
Won't you come again with me?

2006-11-02T14:58:00.000+08:00

This is something done out of boredom. But it's that some friend in my head that get's the words popping out of my head. Done in about a minute?. It's realy easy to write about this friend of mine. He's a jerk. hah hah. here goes.

i say you're shit
talk about it bitch
cant do split
black belt
suck it up way up
shit split
go to hell
suck it up

you gotta love it i say it wont stop
making the haters head go pop
with all the love spreading up and away
with the hate losing its own way

so you say what you wanna say
think about the world as gay
you're the leader you're the frontman
think about who raised you up man
if you're good in the hood
suck it up real hard as you should
the good times are past this is real
this is bad and its coming with a good deal
without me, you're shit
with you, no split .
shit !

i say you're shit
talk about it bitch
cant do split
black belt
suck it up way up
shit split
go to hell
suck it up

you gotta love it i say it wont stop
making the haters head go pop
with all the love spreading up and away
with the hate losing its own way

you are nothing to this world
without me , you're a girl
well think it about it man
it was us who made it grand
so you think you are the fucking tank
you dont even say the word thank
you blabber and yada yada about your skills
but nothing is moving not even your heels
you say it's your one and only
dying and pissing daily
talking and thingking
bet its only bitching and ranting yo

i say you're shit
talk about it bitch
cant do split
black belt
suck it up way up
shit split
go to hell
suck it up

you gotta love it i say it wont stop
making the haters head go pop
with all the love spreading up and away
with the hate losing its own way

it's getting too much now
10 times straight in a row
its getting routine
youre the jumping beans?!
silly toad fuck look alike
just like how yo momma likes
i sent you good trades up on the net
but you hooked me up instead
i willl thank you for everything now
but guess who gave your ex some 'wow'

you gotta love it i say it wont stop
making the haters head go pop
with all the love spreading up and away
with the hate losing its own way

you gotta love it i say it wont stop
making the haters head go pop
with all the love spreading up and away
with the hate losing its own way

hah hah hah

2006-10-26T15:48:00.000+08:00

The Open Door is the new album by American rock band Evanescence, their second studio release. The album has progressed slowly for a number of reasons, but perhaps chiefly because of Amy Lee's desire to allow the creative process to fully take its course and not rush production. Besides that, other distractions have included other band members' side projects, health problems concerning guitarist Terry Balsamo [who had a stroke] and the controversy revolving around the dismissal of their former manager. Lee stated on Evboard that Evanescence's new album would be wrapping up in March 2006, but the release was pushed to October 3rd, allegedly because Wind-up Records [the band's current record label] wanted to make a few changes to the upcoming single Call Me When You're Sober, which hit modern rock and alternative rock radio on 7 August.
The Open Door is defined by Amy Lee's beautiful melodies, compelling lyrics, poignant piano and stunning vocals, fused with Terry Balsamo's urgent, yet intricate guitar, to form a seamless, ethereal mixture that perfectly channels the band's hard rock and classical sensibilities. Marking the return of long-time friend and producer Dave Fortman, the album's musical elements include a classically-infused choir and strings recorded in an old chapel on several tracks, giving further color to songs of introspection, longing, doubt, self-respect and, ultimately, empowerment.

This is one sick song from their newest album. It reaches deep inside me when i hear it the first time. Some personal though. Goes out to all the sad kids in the world. Cheers.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself.
Can't keep believing,
We're only deceiving ourselves .
And I'm sick of the lie,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it cause it's over,
It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?
How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind.

2006-10-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

Their new album, The Open Door is out , but there's one sick song call me when you're sober. pfft. This is all for the sick kids. Cheers.

2006-10-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

2006-10-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

It was a success. although meeting up with the 10 people who i dont really talk to in school sounds like fun, we had a blast.Ala Turka was great. we got this VIP room which holds about 10 pax just the right one for us(including 1 child) . oh yeah and some people can go on and on about hey lets break fast together, hey we should have dinner someday, hey let's organise some chalet, hey ! give me a break. Going on and on and making it go public seems like you dont really have 'friends'. I pity these people. Especially you.

(this is the only snapshot taken.hahaha.really.)

Read Lifestyle today? says that last sunday 7 singaporeans were caught downloading mp3's off freewares. but the report says that police only tracks you down when a report is made or an information is sent to them. i wonder, what kind/type of information?. They will monitor your inbound and outbound activities within your network and just simply have 'eyes' on your back. oh whatever, and this Rias spokesman quotes. "Let's put it this way,you're not anonymous in cyberspace". and there are some FAQ's as well on that page L4 if im not mistaken "i was not the one downloading the contents, my friend did it" so the answer was : if your friend used your computer with your permission and you are aware of the person's doing, you can be arrested too. hah ! . what a bitch. Imagine one fine day, you're happily downloading and then this army of full-armoured police guys roped from the chopper above, armed with rifles came crashing through your window. just because you're downloading mp3's. okay maybe downloading free songs would not be a big deal to us, but it pains the artiste if about a million others have the same mindset. who would ever want to buy their albums? but think about it. who would want to bring a bulky discman with only one album which you would have to open the damn flap and switch to different cd's if you get sick of that dumb album after a few minutes through.but anyways, it did mentioned about warning through your internet connection. sending mails to you personally. not sure how. but they did mentioned BITLORD or something about torrent-related. not sure what. which brings to that hacker. to think about it, that hacker said "torrents are dangerous". like wow, giving me some hint? or warning? i dont wanna go to jail dammit. but fuck it. he's some usa kid. (hopefully) so now, im just using my limewire pro. so at least if i do get interrogated, i can say that limewire pro is not a freeware, but its some paid software. hrmmmm. and i unchecked the box (allow uploading) upon hearing that if you download and share, it's considered file sharing. but if you just simply download, what are you called then? hah. anyways, whatever. i still have many more songs to store in my mp3.

talk about mp3 , Bono sounds more like bodoh to me. he's a peace motherfucker. live8 , cancer research. bla bla. his first few appearance and sincerity to help out the poor and needy had touched many lives and also moved some people. but ever since he used the iPod to promote awareness, it sounds like he's going way off without thinking about making any good out of it. okay so he thinks making an iPod which is RED in colour would be cool and make it look like everyone would fall for the colour and some idiots might think that it really can be of great help to the needy. but the 'funds' may have to undergo many stages before it gets to the needy. so only a few percentage? well i guess bono is the needy one.

Oh lastly, i know you are smart and everything. but please dont make it obvious by typing my nick there. i do visit you quite often you know. see, you're not that smart after all . till next time.

2006-10-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

oh my, believe it or not,i just had a short chat with a hacker.the notebook i'm using now have been opened to backdoor to malware spyware and whatever trojan crap that have been created. but the thing that freaks me out is that, this hacker, somehow got into my system. the dialogue is like some kinda Msn Help. it popped up all of a sudden. and then immediately any idiot will know it's some kind of chat box. so it goes something like.

hacker> hi
Looser> hey
Looser>how dya get in here?

there was no response, and from there i believe that he/she had left the conversation.

then, my cd-rom opened. like so what? it may be the work of a bot. so i ignored.
i pushed it back in. and what the hell. it opened up again. i'm pissed furious and abit nervous. it was late at night and all of a sudden the screen was off. oh well. this is getting lame. i waited for some 5 seconds. and it came back. then when i tried to move the cursor, it went blank again. so i thought what the hell. this must be the bot that was used as scriptings to prank.(well i had some though it can shut down comp and restart or even open up any app that you want it to, all by itself) . so i waited. i was expecting better though. you know while sitting in a dark room, and then your screen went blank. and all of a sudden you have this stupid SADAKO look alike face up close on your screen. like WHOA! .. hah but whatever. and then again. i thought maybe the hacker can look at what i'm doing eh? so i opened up Notepad. and then typed.

hey, leave it alone ..
please spare my comp? ( there was no reply after a few mins.)

and then i say... by any chance you're a lamb of god fan? ( because i had the sacrament posted as my desktop background. hahahahah)

and then it the box popped up again. yay.

again the same box with the Msn Help as the header.

hacker>fun
Looser>what?
Looser>spare my comp dude. please?
hacker>torrents are dangerous
Looser>haha.okay.so?
Looser>how dya get in here?
hacker>Kazaa Lite Pro Cracked
hacker>^^
Looser>AAAHHH!!
Looser>so that is why.
hacker>how old are you
Looser>not as young as you.
hacker>trying to outsmart me?
Looser>i don't know, i'm not even trying
hacker>where do you live? usa?
Looser>no, i'm in singapore,in a peaceful asian country
hacker> ^^
Looser>hey wanna check out some sexy asians ?
Looser>yeah? ? you wanna?
hacker>no
Looser>c'mon, it'll give you a boner
Looser>halooooooooo??!!

chat ended here. and EVEN WHILE IM TYPING ALL THIS CRAP., the bugger came in and........................................

and yeah there you go, but i must really warn all of you who are happily using any torrent-related file to download,try not to be lured in with especially with such programs as 'Limewire Pro Cracked', ' XP-Profressional with Keygen' , or anything that sounds BIG but you know it's too good to be true. for my case, i downloaded this software Kazaa Lite Pro Cracked. haha. wrong move. so i paid the price. it was only some 200-300 mb and it took only a few seconds to complete. i assume that not only I alone have this software.there was not anything wrong when i finish d/l'ing it, but i guess it opened up some portal for that h4ck3r as soon as i clicked on the setup file.there was no installationshield wizard or whatever normal that is supposed to happen. it came up with and error 'Setup file damaged' and then i cann still remember my comp freezed for some 2-3 secondss. and so i deleted off the Kazaa lite pro cracked task and all files from pc. but i guess there's something that i've yet to do. the h4ck3r might still be reading all this crap and i guess i'm not the only one.hrmmm.

to all torrent users, torrents are pretty dangerous after all, it harms you both in a legal and otherwise unfriendly manner. before you go on a downloading spree, try to check and recheck the item. check for size, mostly for applications, you need to be a logical thinker. for example if you want to d/l any type of XP professional software, then it should be at least 2-4 gig, just like some latest games, like fifa 06, or winning 11 , should be at least 700mb or higher. maybe 1 gig and above. the size can sometimes be a prediction of how genuine the item is. next, the title says it all. if it's too good to be true, then it really is . what happened to me, might be of bad karma. whatever man. if you're reading this and you've understand, you might be cracking a smile and even

(click image for better view)

laughed to the point when you've reached here. fine. owned. just like how that crap stole me with the nick eh? ..

2006-10-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

+ 1 year to pretty boy Louis. although the set-up performance almost failed. we had a great time anyway.the following pictures you are about to see are from photographer ian. credits to him.

Introducing Red Line : Ali (vox)

Mowgli (another vox)

Faris

Khairul

Farhan

& Danial ...

Ooo the assembly line with Baby Syaza at the back . hah hah ! . The Big D's works wonders .

Although they were the only ones, they stirred up the crowd. It's the beggining of an upcoming storm. You'll see what.

will be updated again sooooon.

i guess...

2006-10-03T05:45:00.000+08:00

there are many female artiste who may not receive as much attention as their male counterparts. or maybe there might be an all girl band, but none would want to pay attention to them. the all girl band that i know is only Kittie. they're some bad ass girls. that's all i can say really. songs like brackish & paper doll are the best compared to the rest. other than Kittie, i dont know already. but anyways, there's this RoadRunner United, a project organised by the heavy metal record label RoadRunner Records. Songs like The End, from one of the album RoadRunner United : The All Star Sessions stands out from the rest of the songs. and then i saw the unbelieveable. man look at this.

awwww wow !

this is Nadja Peulen

i think she does bass for the song 'The End' .....

People, say hi to nadja. was a member from Coal Chamber..not sure what she's into now but....got to check the band out anyway..

awww dammit man is she hot? or just the bass.
stop wanking if you are . www.nadjaonline.com there you go.

Laugh It Out LOUD

2006-10-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

okay so i have seen so many idiots wearing/having the same outfits/looks , just made me curious and i dont know why i searched the word 'emo', and then boom. like as if it is describing my friends, it's hilarious too!read on.

Males that adhere to the emo subculture are sometimes confused with metrosexuals; indeed the line between the two is somwhat blurred, though both groups claim to be intouch with their emotional side. The ephemeral and hackneyed nature of emo songwriting suggests that its audience will be restricted largely to teenagers. the genre suffers from a lack of credibility outside the aforementioned demographic group, much like current Nu Metal bands.

and then they have this tiny dialouge box which goes,

Girlfriend: C'mon let's have sex.
Boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
Girlfriend: I'm sad too: lets have sex and cry.
Boyfriend: I'm already crying.

awww cheer up emo kid !

Oh and wait , there's more.

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black(or maybe have it in multiple colours e.g purple blonde green or whatever ),and then wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Jack, the cool dude who always hangs around outside jamming studios.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!

hahahahahaha.there are really such people out there. and i know some of them. you guys really need a life. get a grip.

there are some out there who just insults w/o knowing the meaning of emo and whatever they mean, all they want to do is to just hurt. just like how bullies exists, they were once bullied.

and whatever you want to classify your friends under (scenekid emokid matrep minahs fashioncore) give them a break. we're young and still looking for that identity. this month you maybe a goth(sad depressed and angry) the next thing you know, you're on that mat doing a headspin.you're still looking for that particular 'group' to fit yourself into.such classifications are not neccessary really. they mean nothing.

and reading on again.. i find this kinda true...

Since the late 90s, though, bands have been emerging in the vein of Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional, and the thousands of their clones. As far as I can tell, some lazy journalist somewhere, writing an article about them, decided "Well, fuck, no one knows what emo is anyways, so I'll call these bands "emo" - sounds more appealing than bubblegum pop rock..." and the spiral continued downwards into the current amalgomation of bands MTV has told everyone is "emo." Somehow, people decided that "emo" meant "emotional," which is obviously bullshit, as 99% of bands make music to illicit emotion, which would make "emotional" a completely all-encompassing genre from classical to opera to pop to rap.

Taking Back Sunday, Senses Fail, and My Chemical Romance falls under the "horrible pop rock" genre, not the emo genre.

Rites of Spring is emo.

what a wonderful world =)

the aftermath

2006-09-29T13:38:00.000+08:00

stop hinting - you've soo many faces you dont even know who you are. stop it. you're making youself look like some dumb cheap girl who doesnt know what's right and wrong. whats good and whats not.you cant simply just type your way out of agony and misery but in real life you're suffering.you act hardcore with the keyboards but in real life you're a small prick.calling other weakling by fingers but not through actions.you express anger despair and hardship through many stupid mediums which many cant understand.you think literature is cool.but your stupid style is the same as many of your friends.the words you people used, are all identical and lame.you don't have to use bombastic words to make an impact on me. simple words such as stupid or slut can just hurt you sooo sooo sooo much.am i right??.so give it a try.use words that many will understand.or perhaps you just want specific audience.the ones whom you know.the ones who you want to know.to think you've got friends, they're not really there.you know who.and you know why.the sick words from your sick mouth pollutes the air and your foul breath will make them think you're some kind of fool trying to act smart and pretty.i suggest you be yourself.you were good then.just like how i knew you.

get over it- like many times before.you used that on me and then thinks that i'm overly reacting.i know you still have something going on up your sleeves.there is nothing to prove but i know there's something.deny all you want.who cares anyway.

be mature- you've seen the kid in me and i've seen the same in you too.people do certain things that they aren't aware of.they do the things that they know they are not capable of at times.but when it's all fun and with the right company, you tend to do silly things.there's a time for serious talking and childishness.if you're asking a person to be mature its too general.be specific and prove where what and why you need the change in that person.that way, misunderstandings can be avoided and fairy tales might just be true.

move on- i dont know, like as if you did, maybe you did, maybe not.i guess you did.and congratulations.

Heartfelt

2006-09-25T00:51:00.000+08:00

Conclude this chapter from your life
forgive me, all my fault
Left only me and your silence all this while
express your mistakes,and let it go
The last one out please shut the door

It's us by nature, we speak errors in margin.
It's you by fate, i'll let you come take this virgin.
Away.

End this all, forget everything what i've said
Everything changes and we're forgotten by now
And we are wounded and i guessed you've paid
Thinking how we stooped so low.........

I asked the living dead, can they see it
The unspeakable differences
But how can you ever..
How can you ever not change..
What is wrong with you..
Where did i go wrong...
When were we even...
Why did i end up with you..silence..

Only light flies and the heavy falls upon us.
All the unimaginable feelings
And thoughts of a losing woman
With the hidden past taking control...
Normal is gone, and its non-existence
Makes you think that you have the right

Oh please end this all, its just getting routine
Everything changes and we're forgotten by now
What you wanted all you have
Thinking how we stooped so low.........

One Life

2006-09-19T14:22:00.000+08:00

Breathe that familiar smell,
what i see i can tell.
Touch,you know you're feeling
something wrong thats brewing
Are you feeling right?
Taking care, one more time

Should i lie, could you laugh
can we ever be so dishonest

Should we lie,to make them cry?
Pretending that we are somebody
To their eyes, we're perfect
To us..its just the fact

That we were
Once upon a time....

aormeogmoeaigmeaoigm

2006-09-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

aoigmeoigmLASTowaimfwoaiemfTEMPLATEwaoifmwoiemGOTwoifmwoifmwFUCKEDowaeifmwaoeifmUP
woifmwaoefimaweifmWILLwoefimwaeofmJUSTowiefmawoeifmSTICKwofwaeofmiTOwaoifmweaoifmTHIS
wofeiwefmLAMEwoiefmweoafmASSwoifmwFORoiwmfoimTHEwaoiefmweoaifmTIMEwaoiefmwoeimf
fowiefmwifmBEINGwaoifmweoafmSHOO!!woaiwoefimwa

Read All About It

2006-09-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

if you're going to smile at somebody, or well at least to a friend or someone whom you know, 90% chances are that they will smile back at you.or at least try to crack one. Maybe they got shit in their pants early in the morning, then you might not receive the smile you expected.
what about good deeds? if you contribute something to some organization, or to your temple,mosque,church e.t.c, you might not get anything in return, as you're a volunteer. You're only volunteering to help. Unlike doing good deed to other people for example, you saved an old lady from getting killed by a speeding tricycle powered by a 5 year old kid, you may get a reward. You may be rewarded handsomely if that old lady works in some brothel. By nature, people give and take. give and take give and take give and take. IT NEVER ENDS ! If you were to cook something nice for your neighbour, and if they appreciate it, you might get something in return. You see from this, people might want to EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN. Meaning that if i were to do something good for you, YOU BETTER RETURN MY FUCKING DEED.hmmmm..For me, whatever good deed you're gonna give, i'll give it back. And if i find it much of a burden for you, I may not accept your kindess.
But sometimes in life, you got to be selfish to take care of yourself. To learn to say no to such things, to learn how to seize and take good fortune for what might seem to be good for your own good.
Ultimately, what you give is what you get. First impression counts, people say the way you dress, the way you present yourself is WHAT you ARE. I say bullshit. People with that type of mindset are pessimistic and very narrow minded. Those type of mindsets belong to the 'older-generation'. Define the word orthodox. It will be different in the bussiness district. With all due respect, attire and grooming would earn you respect and may give you some confidence boost.Anyways, judging people on how they look. That's a very touchy subject and i've known people who dress like a loser, but as they've got talent in them which no one can really match up to. Well of course everyone have their own special talents, so that is why people should not be judged on how they look/dress/talk/smile/walk e.t.c even rag-and-bone men are earning respect. They are working their butt off to feed the mouths of his children and wives, unlike the richdad's who enjoys going to KTV lounges or maybe have some bussiness right in his own office. Back to 'first impression' , bussiness men, rich,well groomed,sleek dresscode, rag-and-bone man, tattered and torn clothes,black nails, yellow teeth, body odour. although the latter would be greatly appreciated by the society, he cheats on his wife, on himself and brings pain to his children. How can first impression count when you don't even know the person in detail. Supposedly a terrorist all dressed up in fine clothing and touches up with a bow, no one would really identify him as a terrorist, even though he may give a hint or two on his facial looks, he will be regarded as O'Highness.
If you've read up till here, you've wasted about 3-6 minutes (depending on your speed). If you wish to continue to read up about me, please do continue to hurt your eyes and make your degree 1 notch higher.
First and far most, it pisses me off when i dont get in return for what i want. not that i demand what i expect. but supposedly you send a friend with what he/she asks, you gim him/her almost everything they need help in. so you asked for help. it's their turn to do their part to help a friend. let's say you asked for a cool horror dvd to start with. and he/she sends you a blank cd cover with a blank cover disc and he/she says 'this is the best horror film in town. you have to check it out!!!'. so you happily rushed home and what the fuck, it's the Looney Tunes, all 890 screenings on D-V-fucking-D.Thinking it was a joke, you laughed it off.Day after, your friend have a camcorder but he/she is running out of tape, then you lend your VHS tape and there are some special moments on that very tape. you fast forward it to the timing on what your friend will be viewing, and then when you got your tape back, your very friend re-recorded about his/her project work in school from start till end.. are you pissed off yet? well you have yet to feel so, maybe you dont understand, and have the heart of choal, not gold. okay friend?.
Next,what you give is what you get, i would always tell this to the people that may have some doubts about me. If you treat me like and adult, i'll be one, if you're wacky and out of control, people might think we're identical when we're high together. When you give me shit, you'll get faeces all over your face. When we love, we love, we hate, we hate. You're cool,I'm cool, give me respect, i'll treat you the very best. But what if you changed in a matter of split second?. we were good and having a rollin good time, then you changed and become some huge hard rock egoistic beast. Then you will be thrash in my eyes and will be automatically be treated like a junk. you know like those scrap metal?. as good as being crushed and recycled. why recycled?. because i know you before and holding a grudge against someone would not be a nice thing, because God created you. cant hate Almighty God's creations.
I might be a complicated stuck up kid to you, or in your eyes, only one person that i know have opened me up and gave me a brighter life. Like you know how a violent rogue turns into a harmless boy when he's happily together with the person he likes. The power is limitless. Knows No boundaries and have the effect greater than anything else.But you're gone, hopefully temporary.

Denial's Thirst (2)

2006-09-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

+Out At the Corridor+

While holding the napkin over his fixed nose job, Joe went into his office in the clinic.He had a masters in medicine studies.Ever since he workedat the clinic, he felt that there was no time for him to socialise, let alone to find a perfect soul mate.Melissa had an accident and Joe together with Nurse Cindy, attends to her wound and took special care of Melissa.Joe then felt he had something on with Melissa, from then on, they got pretty much close and enjoys the comfort of one another.
Just then, Melissa came in. She sat on the chair where Joe is on his office desk. Spreading his legs horizontally, allowing room for melissa to sitright in front of him.
Melissa: Joey, I.. I know that it has been quite some time that we're together, and i'm blessed everyday to have you by my side.
Joe: Mel, what do you mean?
Melissa: I love you..
Joe: I...
Melissa: Before you say anything, I would like to tell you something.
Joe: Hey! , Okay.. What is it?
Melissa: Remember when you were little?
Joe: Yeah, what about it?
Melissa: I used to play defend in hockey, i was your partner. We were about eight then.
Joe: Well...i dont remember playing it with some chiques though. hah. But i remembered Melvin playing defense.
Melissa: Joey, No! Listen. I AM THAT MELVIN!. I used to be a guy. I was THAT Melvin when i was eight.
Joe: WHAT ?!
Melissa: Nurse Cindy did my reproductive organs.
Joe: Who else knows?!!
Melissa: What do you mean??
At this point of time, Melissa couldn't hold back her tears and she broke down .
Joe: Who else in this god damn clinic knows that you were some kinda guy? or dude? you freak !
Melissa: Joey.. .. you loved me for who i am, NOT who i was before, not because i'm a man. i may have a man's body, but I'm feminine in the inside.
Joe: Fuck word, to think that i even slept with you???!!

Yawn...Too tired..will be continued =)

Denial's Thirst (1)

2006-09-11T22:18:00.000+08:00

+Somewhere In Bed+

The sun rays beamed upon the opened windows and onto their faces. When he finally realised it's way past 7,Joe woke up.Soon after,Melissa too.
Joe:Whoa, that was the best night ever.
Melissa pulled on the comforter till barely covering her chests, and cracked a smile while still in slumber.
Joe: Will you come watch me play tonight?
Melissa: Honey, no, i dont want to see you hurt. Since the day you got your eyes busted wide open, that was the first and the last.It hurts to see you getting hurt.
Joe: Mel,i wont fight. I'll play clean this time. There'll be no brawls this time round. I promise.

+Out Of Some Clinic+

Joe: Now she fixed it quite well didn't she?
Melissa: You had a broken nose, you and your empty promises. When will this all stop?
Just the, Cindy came in to do the follow-up.
Nurse Cindy: Joey dear, how's the operation following up?
Touches his nose and then playfully punching Joe's chests with excitement upon his presence in the clinic.
Melissa: Cindy??
Nurse Cindy: Well do i know you?
Melissa: Cindy Beauford?
Silence then filled the air even though the clinic was busy with running doctors and nurses.Well it seems like that is how they were looking at each other.Only between Cindy and Melissa.
Joe: So you guys know each other?
Nurse Cindy went a step closer to Melissa and wraps her hands around her forearm.
Nurse Cindy: Well yeah. we.... we were ..
Melissa: Friends.
Looked at one another with a hint of secrecy.
Nurse Cindy: Yeah friends. We study in the same college.
Joe: Ah, what a pleasant surprise. Now why dont you guys have some catching up while i go for the appointment.Excuse me ladies.

+In The Nurse's Office+

Melissa: It's been quite some time huh?
Nurse Cindy: Are you his boyfriend?
Melissa: Yeah....Well look, i don't know how to break the news to him. How am i ever going to tell him the truth?
Nurse Cindy: It's either now, or later. With a greater impact. If you know what i mean.
Melissa: If only I've known the stakes involved.
Nurse Cindy: I can't help you Mel, I'm already feeling sorry to see you in this state.
Melissa: Oh God. Have mercy..
To Be Continued......

Monday Morning Apocalypse

2006-09-11T22:17:00.001+08:00

How long have you held me in this waterMuch too long since my body is numbHow long have I been here and where am IAnd why are my hands tiedHow long have I been your little altarYour little toy and sacrificeHow long have you kept me in these watersIn a world where you're GodAnd we are all your servantsIf I had known how to get out of solitudeI would have done it all to help youIf we had known about the pain we caused youWe would have stopped just to save youHow far did he go to get to know herMuch too far and we all must have been blindIt was an ordinary morningMonday morning just before 9:00And you are all my servantsThe guilt is yours not mineIf I had known how to get out of solitudeI would have done it all to help youIf we had known about the pain we caused youWe would have stopped just to save youAnd you are all my servantsYou will all obligeThis will teach the lessonThe guilt is yours not mineIf I had known how to get out of solitudeI would have done it all to help youAnd if I have known about the pain we caused youI would have saved you
+From one of my fav,Evergrey.

To Be A Better Asshole

2006-09-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

Record over a borrowed vcr tape Argue with everybodyDon't make up your mindAccuse, confuse and refuseNever do anything until you have been asked twice. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttonsLie about your ageUnderline in other peoples booksChange channels every two seconds Be judgmentalAnnounce when your going to the bathroomRead over peoples shoulders on the bus (especially when they're texting) and then repeat what they're typing.Revenge is sweet... so get someCover up your mistakes and pass the blameIf you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it. Bribe little kids... cause they're easyMeasure people by their money and the clothes they wear. Leave your underwear in the sinkDish it out, but don't take itApologize a lot, but don't changeBe a perfectionist in absolutely everythingRepeat yourselfRepeat yourselfPut things back where they don't belongMake the same mistake twiceWear a large hat to the moviesAlways take the biggest pieceAlways have an ulterior motiveChange your mind

Lucky (Before)

2006-09-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

havent ever got my life.havent ever got my slice of luckiness.
so please please please let me get what i want
let the good things come back let the bad things drift away.
what do you give a man with nothingness.
what am i worth to everyone.let it be me.
i've touched and pulled your hair back,and then it dropped
one by one.
just like how our days were like
so please please please let me get what i want
take it away and bring me close.closer closer closer towards you.
and let it. let it be me.

A Cure For Cancer Perhaps?

2006-09-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

This was said to be a cure for cancer, even though it's not scientifically proven..well i got it this from victor wooten too. *cheers
Six years ago, I was diagnosed with advanced type-3 throat cancer. Even though it has a lower success rate, I decided to undergo radiation treatment rather than disfiguring surgery or debilitating chemotherapy. One of my neighbors told me about a 85-year-old farmer named George who cured his prostrate cancer with dandelion root powder. George was told by doctors he had maybe six months to live. I met with George and he told me that God inspired him to use the dandelion root powder. In thanks to God for saving his life he makes dandelion root powder to give away for free to all who need help. He helps hundreds of people some who were told they had no chance & were going to die within months, most of them are alive and well today .George is now 90 and its been 11 years since his diagnosis.
He gave me some and I started to take it along with my radiation treatments. The next 12 weeks were the hardest in my life, I lost over 60 lbs; it was very painful to swallow but I continued taking the dandelion root powder.
Now I am cancer free and feeling stronger than I ever have. I continue to take the dandelion root powder and I have told 2 friends about it that had cancer. They are both healthy now. I grow dandelions in my garden without any chemicals, fertilizers or pesticides added. In the fall I dig them up trying to get as deep as possible to obtain the whole root. I brush off some of the dirt but I do not wash them, George stressed this when he told me how to do prepare the dandelions. I dry them at 95 degrees in a food dehydrator for about 5 days until they are brittle. Then I break them up and put them in a blender to grind to a fine powder and take 1/2 of a teaspoon daily. The powder can be kept for years if stored in an airtight container. I am living proof that nature can help heal cancer. If you have any questions or need more information feel free to contact me.

Stupid People Will Remain Stupid

2006-09-11T22:14:00.001+08:00

i believe people who knows music and jam often will more or less know the meaning of 'original'. when you say original its YOURS.something that belongs to you/the creator.
somehow some people are so stupid that when you say orginals, they ask you, what song?
how did that kid get so dumb.. original meaning your style of playing,your style of everything.
man,its hard to work with stone heads.
blah..

Awaiting Departure

2006-09-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

filled with irony.lured in by the curves of the flames. this is the empty hallway where nudes put on their clothes.exhibits fallow down the stairway.its the new word.its a new world. fast.
seek and destroy,touch and loathe.i swallow the knights and kings were told to strip.
they held their heads up high,shining armour. piercing through my eyes. sharp rays pointing backwards and down.no compromise.i wont retaliate.
fork in the road,how did that kid get so fat.gluttony meaty piece of skin bag.i want Satan in your soul.help me out Grotesqueand there stood a jealous liar.starved to death.
i meant no harm,like i could.slowly sinking in my trap like you would.breathing,slowly and fading out.till i get my last chance .devour.

She Sank Like Anvil

2006-09-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

well you know how smartly people can react when they go through disspointment.they make it look like as if its all okay.they cover it up with smiles and they said ''okay'' more than they ever had.
so once upon a time there must be some happy times that made them so overly happy.to the extend that they think they lead a happy life.
perfectionist vs extremist
you go down . the part where you know its right, you finish the story without an ending,ignoring the norm by the forces that influenced you.
it is sad to see how people change when they lose their mom,dad,loved ones or maybe boyfriends.they evolve into a rock.
something so hard that no one can ever poke through,let alone touch with gentleness.

That Lovely Picture On Her Web

2006-09-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

when i looked at it,i felt like putting my hand through my screen and push your hair back.it felt like..before.
i felt like i can look at it till my eyes shutdown.
i felt like i just want to be there in that dark background,trying to make myself be there,but no one can see.
how i wished i was that McDonalds logo.at least i can see you from afar.even thought for a split second as you walk past me on the opposite side of the road.
i quickly sank into my seat when i looked at it.it captures my heart.it skipped a beat,no, much more than one beat.a million times more.
it evolves around me.its my source of...anything,everything.
it is bold,it is smart enough not to show its true colours now,maybe later.hopefully.
im fond of it.i love it.it is then.it is before.how can it be soo,judgemental about a person's wrongdoings?i wonder if it still remains the same.what else can i be happy for if its not for it.it is my everything.
i've never said that much thank you's to anyone let alone to God.it deserves more.it just makes me weak.
if only it is listening.if only it is forgiving enough.if only it lets go of the past.if only it will.if only it will.
memorabila.
it is nice,it is my friend,it is my mother,it is my lovely,it is you.

a + b

2006-09-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

when you have another person in your mind,there will be a rush of anxiety and thinking how well the day might end with that person.thinking on how well your attire and grooming goes together,making an imaginary symmetrical line across your face.how perfect.
dining at some nice diners would be great to kickstart the melodramatic series of events.loud cellphone conversations,with the clangs of silveries and cutleries.its the feeling that you're in some type of hawker,that uses ceramic plates instead of those plastic ones.
as we walked past the reservist,eyes started to lock onto us.we're like a walking target of some talking point waiting to burst out in a matter of minutes.
was my contacts out of place?. did i zip my pants? or is it my mask that came loose.
as i slowly moved my armed onto my face,i felt something soggy.something that is of melted chocolate.
i looked at my hand to see what i've felt.and there it was.i couldnt breathe.soon after i collapsed.
i woke up feeling rather heavy up on the head.was it a hangover.no,couldnt be.i was out with her.but how did i end up waking up in my very own bed.did we slept together.hope not.
as i tried to put my clothes back on,i realise i couldnt move.i pulled the comforter.looked down.
and i was surprised to see what evil things some people are capable of doing.i lost two of my legs.and all they left me was my balls and groin.

Sick And Tired

2006-09-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

hearin rumours.fake tales.sick and tired of it.people judging people.sick and tired of it.hypocrite.sick and tired of it.sending hate only to be loved.sick and tired of it.self pity.sick and tired of it.
its about high time i name some motherfuckers.DESPERATE wuss.
raise her up.make her good.before i raise them up for you.
if only you can feel,yes the burning sensation.you vowed to make them look cheap.
no one had ever dared to come close.so close.you wrote poison.seduced by your discolouration of words.
Her behavior testified to her incompetence.

Words From A Seducing Serpent

2006-09-11T22:09:00.001+08:00

i love you.i miss you.i love you darl.you're my everything.precious.my world.so what if they say that you're a loser.what matters is us.it's you that matters.its only we that make up this world.never would i want to blink.when you said goodnight,didn't you mean goodbye?.i love you.i miss you.i love you darl.its getting routine.hugs.kisses.letters.diaries.what more can i ask?.i love you.all i ever wanted.was your love.my diamond.darla.baby.sweetheart.you're my everything.my everything.

Just Play It Baby

2006-09-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

why do they hate you so much?..
maybe because you prounounced some words like comfortable as 'convertable,comfortabile,pencan' .. oh they just hate you.
please dont think that they might rip your head off..but i might just be as gentle as before
hey,just one gentle reminder,duck for no reason.just duck.
how can you be likeable.. well if you can swim in hot lava,or just walk in a blizzard without letting a single flake of snow hitting you..maybe they'll consider about it..maybe..
and before i got up there to kill you,then i think again.Hey,i might just hang around here longer than the theory of gravity wants me to.
kinda small.so thinking she's just some prick.but nooo baby..she seems to be soo cute..but never pick her up like that..she'll just rip your arms off and beat you till death with your own arms..its not cool to be beaten up with your own arms..
and if only i can tie every strand of your hair to every tennis string,and then YANK it out at one go,boy that look on your face will be PRICELESS..
what about the ghost with nice boobs?..maybe ann poh, or uhh....YOU..and like when you kill the Wolf,you'll be left with Bunnies,and when i say bunnies,i mean stupid people..
maybe you're stupid because your grandma says 'stab first' ..oh just like you did..but you missed her second advice,because you stabbed her..bunny-girls. pff..
i have everything,well... what do you give a guy who has one with nothingness?
i would appreciate love care concern.TOY.no.maybe oil paintings,cards,or flowers.
just like giving your soul to an alien in exchange for a green balloon.....
THIS MAKES NO SENSE...just like you... you know you want it. but noooo, you just have to keep on rolling and rolling till you become some circular object that is about 2-pie-R-sqaured something.
your ignorance proves cowardness.you can run little one,but you CANNOT hide.

Do You Want IT?

2006-09-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

when you lost a dog,then you can hear the bitch's barking from far.which makes you think that you might find her. when you finally get out,and then you see nothing but cats, you know they're your enemy from far.but all this while,all you got is mice,fish and tadpoles. what about dogs? you need to love dogs. why?. because you're dying to find her. trying hard,seeking and searching for that one lost bitch of yours. but it comes to a point where you cant really get hold of the leash. because you lost the fucking bitch. BUT,the dog keeps on barking. Faking the sound of progress.1x1 = 2 when i see you i see double. please stop making them sound so nice.when you know its not.im just like a mirror of you.a reflection of what you've done. what you give,is what you get. and what i'll give depends on how you receive. respect me and i'll respect you,for i know that its you who demands respect. taking back my words,apoligies will not go far . death blooms.

Animal Of People

2006-09-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

feeling this how can you fucking miss the romance of hate tell me how you get so really high and started saying that you are a fuckin saint lick it now,suck it in faking the fake face faking the fake smiles.SICK dont you wanna be someone that you have envy for the rest of your life if i have your soul,will you be mine?take it all away,for she lies sober. i have been searching and dying and trying for this men have been trying and dying to experimentgetting all this all that will not help at least look at him when he was reciting his last fucking death wish who would want anything from me.Boy.bitching stones and miles away but face to face you've got not a thing say. dont you go away,we're not done yet. fixing the leakage and mending the broken pipes,as you lead me on making the puppet from a human scapegoatthinking its right you have yet to grow make me lie die cry fight for everything that you want for this is the pages of hollocaust.this is the end of everything .

Like I Care...

2006-09-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

have you ever wonder that you're be the only on one earth who thinks about a certain way that no one will ever think about?
getting in line,and then theres the new cashier who opens up the booth,but no one gets there.
just like how things come and people might not realise how much more they can save time,money and the effort for certain things.
good things come and go.its not hard to let go.its easy to accept,regret and hell yeah reject (well sometimes).
do what you love.everything is possible in communicating with one another.
what if a person sets up some imaginary diameter about herself and says you cant come near him/her.
what will you do?.i guess i'll just step into his/her safety zone.
well,its not that easy to cripple one hard rock 'dont give up' mind.
even if you were to brainwash me.i guess i'll still be the same old chap.
sometimes its high,low,medium and of course,rarely gentle.
but there is one great O'wise one on this planet who was able to unleash the other part of anyone.(well almost).
well okay,like i was another person when we're together.as in having that person by my side.
and after that,its a whole new person .
like dang!
how powerful can they be.
you talk,speak,walk,smile,touch,compose yourself differently.
and you start to hear many little voices saying that you should not hurt anyone.let alone that person.
hrmm..how easy it is to give up??.it is easy to give up in the things that you love.
studies (just skip the whole freaking semester) work (leave about 20 days before payday) home (pack your bags and rock and roll)
what about relationship?.. you dont just leave your footstep.aha.nonsense.bullshit.crap.
tell me about it.is it that hard.?
to me. yes.
as you can see,i'm trying to prove nothing.
because nothing can ever change a nothing into something... right ?
you've done good during those times.aaah..
what can i say,people like you just makes me weak..

Nicotine Silhoutte

2006-09-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

she isnt real.i cant make her real
i waited for your presence as you lead me onthinking that i would give inmaking use of those metaphors you claim to be trueit wasnt from any of youwhat have you done to make me feel this way,never would i want stayfor everyone that you have stabbed their back on,they have sinned,so have you,to your mind its all ego fuck!
talk about the brains that sends waves goes FUCK!ego manifest is done when you're donetalk about mindset,fuckfest,backstabs and motherfuckers up your asss
i would thank you for the misery,so nice so fine and the definition of nicemake me mad and i'll bang you down on earth8.1 on the ritcher scale,never would you want any of my fists
you taste my lips and held me thightwouldn't it be fair if i die in your arms?DIE IN HER ARMS.
this isnt real,you cant make it real.........

6 Little Whore Of Hope

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

how to make a child dissapear right in front of you the little things that she made comes lightning quick
the far sighted man then said he wanted a lift homeyou speeded up the time as you dont want to be alone
how do you see? how do you feel? how do you taste? how do kiss?
i want to know,i need to know how far can i ever go
feeling like a cunt while i see them succeedhow would one feel without a mother
praying and preying on Him and creations,how would we ever appreciate the beauty
with one word i say, with one move i make, will it make a differenceif a man pass away
could it be real,i think not.we would die right in front of your very eyes.
once upon a time,she broke into me.mended my space and then opened it upto see my softer side is one brilliant leap.
but for now,who would want to see the black bleeded spit.
only time will decide,judgement day will be good for the sinners
and for all to blame. thank you.

Batara Guru

2006-09-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

Black Book within my inverted mind
I hallowed to the where the Sun darkened
And I measure the philosophy of life
Faith is the way we should not be
Imposed to the altar of the crucified
Candles enlightened my-self prosperous deity
I bestow to the Oath I shall be reign
The burning shadow burns my lustful heart
Mantera forbids the land where Dukun lives
As I exposed the ancient laws of forgiveness
I mingled in (the) dirty blood of Pontianak
So, this is myself under the Throne of Syaitan
"Syaitan dialah kau dari tujuh dosa"
And to me I bleed in the name of the Oath
Penanggal, Langsuir I will kiss Thy knees
Take me to you my soul is for the throne

My Thoughts For Kids

2006-09-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

hello.
kids nowadays just indulge themselves without knowing that really is the meaning of emo..
ok .. im no emo kid like you losers out there..but here... a lilttle bit of emo bibilical knowledge for you and me..here goes..
Today, the term "emo" is increasingly ambiguous, and is often used disparagingly to describe something that is overly-sentimental, and is used in a similar way to the homophobic usage of "gay" as a derogatory adjective. The term "emo kid" is often used as an insult aimed at people who dress in a way based upon emo fashion, or who listen to music considered to be "emo". This is similar to the term "goth" being used as a pejorative aimed at those who were involved in the nu metal trend. It is commonplace for people to refer to themselves or others as "emo" or "emo kids" now. Some claim that this is done to remove the negative connotations of the term, disenfranchising it, similar to the usage of the term nigga by many African-American rap artists (though the level of negativity that has been associated with the term "emo" is in no way comparable with that of the "N-word"). Others, mostly veterans or fans of the original emo sound, or those sometimes referred to as "emo" but who consider the term a pejorative, believe that usage of the term in this constant is the product of ignorance of the actual meaning or connotations of the word "emo" amongst those who use it self-referentially.
With the success of rock bands such as The Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World and The Promise Ring, the music industry has promoted a series of successful, emo-influenced bands. The term has come to be used in conjunction with a vast array of musical styles that have little similarity, and it has now become more of an umbrella label for a trend in modern alternative rock than an actual defineable genre, much like the term nu metal before it. Bands who play anything from remotely melodic hardcore to delicate acoustic music with small nods to punk are labelled "emo", mostly out of convenience by music journalists or ignorance by fans of various genres. Acts as dissimilar as The Used, Face Tomorrow, My Chemical Romance, Senses Fail, Poison The Well, Glassjaw, Funeral For A Friend, Hawthorne Heights, Dashboard Confessional, Coheed and Cambria and a virtually endless list of others who play melodic punk or hardcore have been lazily branded emo, creating much confusion over whether or not emo as a defineable genre of music even exists.
However, as with all musical genres, the meaning of the word "emo" is subject to social perception rather than objective guidelines. The catergorization of bands as to whether or whether not they are infact "emo" or not is therefore subjective. The result of this is a modern use of the word emo that is neither right nor wrong, but various and subject to interpretation.
well there you go
no offense to one and all.. =)

about XXX

2006-01-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

well i do not know what the heck (hack) im doing.but as you can see,most of the codes here are duplicates,from tagboards to links and even the body.ok whatever.i've own a psp since late dec last year.
i was appalled to know what a great gadget it is to me.its one of the worlds best gadget that i've own.so i come to millions of DIY mods to psp.the links there are mostly about pspmods and homebrew kits.the best homebrew kit must be the fastloader v0.7...its a UMD dummy..
well the DIY mods are cool.but do it at your own risk.ok.whatever.i feel like a loser already.
free psp games,homebrew kits,and hacks.available on my links.just tag or whatever.

hello

2005-10-29T04:19:00.000+08:00

Wait for more.